Parker

“’I don’t steal from anyone who can’t afford it, and I don’t hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.’” Jason Statham decided to star in a crime movie that doesn’t require driving. Called it “Parker.” Being the first adaptation of Richard Stark’s Parker series to use the main character’s name, I found this version to be…

The Hunter by Richard Stark

“’I’m going to drink his blood, I’m going to chew up his heart and spit it into the gutter for the dogs to raise a leg at. I’m going to peel the skin off him and rip out his veins and hang him with them.’” If Raymond Chandler invented the hardboiled genre, Richard Stark perfected…

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

“Whatever you do, don’t eat the fuckin’ candy.” If the Grimdark movement and Heavy Metal Rock music had a baby together, this would be their movie. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star in this bloody dark comedy, full of horrible jokes and too much gore. But I would argue that the latter is the hero…

Stonemouth by Iain Banks

“Clarity. That would have been good.” To begin with, I want to say this book was read in honor of the author who died earlier this month. God bless his soul. Moving on, I would like to note that Iain Banks is credited as one of the best authors of his generation. From the very…

Safe

“’Why did you save me?’ ‘I didn’t save you. You saved me.’” Jason Statham doesn’t make a bad movie, evident in what looked like a prequel to The Transporter. Jokes aside, this action movie is heads above the rest. But as I said, Statham has yet to make a movie I don’t rank as amazing.…

The Bourne Legacy

“We are the sin eaters. It means that we take the moral excrement we find in this equation and we bury it down deep inside of us, so that the rest of our case can stay pure. That is the job. We are morally indefensible, and absolutely necessary.” While the trilogy has come to an…

Awesome Movies of the Week

No, this isn’t about movies I’ve went and seen newly released this week. It’s about movies of last week that I’ve seen, not necessarily new. See, my family has found this amazing thing called Netflix, and I, being off for a week letting summer begin, watched some  movies. And out of about five or so,…